• Page update – 30/10/12

    Joe Citizens - new story, regarding Motability scooters. My favourite!

  • The Un-Civil Servant

  • BB

    BB is Bureaucratic Bullsh*t.
    It can also stand for Big Brother.
    In the civil service, they are one and the same.

  • What’s it all about?

    Bureaucracy is an umbrella term for official incompetence; that is, incompetence which has officially been sanctioned as being good practice. No-where in the world is that more apparent than in the British public sector. Misadministration of public services is the backbone of every government led department.
    Trust me, I’m a civil servant.

  • It’s a disease

    Bureaucracy runs rife through the corridors of power like a child riddled with ADHD, high on fizzy pop, crisps and jelly-beans.

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  • Bullsh*t Alert

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Sorry, I can’t tell you that.

Someone from my section was suspended yesterday. On Monday he has to come in to face a ‘decision maker’ and find out if he’s still got a job. What did he do? Swear at someone? Start a fight? Steal stationery? Expose himself? No. He failed to implement correct security procedure during conversations with Joe Citizen.

We have a stringent security policy regarding the personal details of Joe Citizen and rightly so. But it is becoming increasingly difficult to answer Joe Citizen’s queries to their satisfaction because the security system is overloaded with bureaucracy and monitored by over zealous SS Stormtroopers. These wannabe Hitler Youths (otherwise known as ‘The Call Listening Team’) would slit your throat with glee, all for telling Joe his next payment date having verified only two security questions correctly instead of three.
Security is important and giving away information to the wrong person could have serious repurcussions for the claimant but we are using a system that was hastily devised on the back of politicians causing furore by forever leaving bits of their office on trains. Because MPs can’t keep their laptops in their, well…laps, we at BB HQ are now suffering the indignations of personal checks on a regular basis by a team of rottweillers specifically put together to harass us into towing the party line. The system is (badly) managed locally, not nationally, so each department has different systems. For instance, the Pension Service can ask you what your address is as a security question. Whereas, if we asked that, we would be marched off site barely having time to grab our P45. How’s that for a ‘joined up’ goverment? No, I don’t know what that means either.
So, Mrs ninety year old Citizen, next time you ring me and I can’t tell you when your next payment is due, because you can’t remember where you lived in 1942, just remember, it could cost me my job just talking to you!


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