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    Joe Citizens - new story, regarding Motability scooters. My favourite!

  • The Un-Civil Servant

  • BB

    BB is Bureaucratic Bullsh*t.
    It can also stand for Big Brother.
    In the civil service, they are one and the same.

  • What’s it all about?

    Bureaucracy is an umbrella term for official incompetence; that is, incompetence which has officially been sanctioned as being good practice. No-where in the world is that more apparent than in the British public sector. Misadministration of public services is the backbone of every government led department.
    Trust me, I’m a civil servant.

  • It’s a disease

    Bureaucracy runs rife through the corridors of power like a child riddled with ADHD, high on fizzy pop, crisps and jelly-beans.

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  • Bullsh*t Alert

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Try not to think about it.

An old lady damn near destroyed me today.

Normally, when I get calls from ‘little old ladies’, I breathe a sigh of relief, settle back in my chair and prepare for a good old relaxing chat with a cup of tea and a slice of cake – without the cup of tea and slice of cake.   Today’s little old lady caught me totally unawares in my slouched position and mellow demeanour.  She was seventy five and was just phoning up to enquire as to whether she might be entitled to Attendance Allowance.   Apparently her daughter said she should be on it – that’s good enough for me!

So I start taking her through the criteria and when I get to the bit about needing help to get dressed she perks up and proudly proclaims she always needs help in pulling up her panties!

That’s what she called them – panties.

At this point my brain went into melt-down.  If she’d have called them knickers or her girdle, then fair enough.  But to refer to her Marks and Spencer Ultimate Firm Support Control Waist and Thigh Cinchers as panties, just ruined the last thirty years of healthy adult male fantasies.  When I think of panties (and I do, occasionally), I picture a tiny pristine white sliver of shear cotton, tightly encasing the shapely rear of a racy nineteen year old blonde.  Not any more.  Now I see a wrinkly, infirm old lady being helped into her iron knickers by some not too lucky carer.

Beware little old ladies.  They can destroy your life.


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